i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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