take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize