wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
