he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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