Apparently you make a good broom.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
