I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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