I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize