I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
