This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
