I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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