I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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