This is not my ceiling
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Randomize
