He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize