I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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