Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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