Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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