so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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