So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
