im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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