i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize