why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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