Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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