I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
