porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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