literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Shame - the story of my life.
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