If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
