im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
