I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
