is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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