dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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