worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
