very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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