just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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