I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
vagina is talking i cant
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
