I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
what day is it and did you see me today?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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