How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
the raccoons are back...
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