I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
