I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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