Michael Bay diarrhea
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
