I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
