by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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