I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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