she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
