things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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