Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
