Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
