My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
