SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize