I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
