PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
