I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
