he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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