The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
