Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
