why didn't you poke me back
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
