I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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