he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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