the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He better not be in your backpack
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
