We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
