ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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