Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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