So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize