She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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